Prayer for today and every day

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I do not remember whose prayer it is, so if you do, pls let me know. I don't like using quotations without giving credit to the author.

Susan, my friend reminded me of this prayer today, after I told her how unhappy I was about certain things in my life, that all came about through my own choice, so I dont even have anyone else to blame. (Maybe it would be so nice to blame and hate someone. Maybe not.)
But as it is, all the things I have to face now came about because I made some choices at certain points in my life. Nobody forced me. And those choices were not at all bad, I probably would make them again.
Nevertheless I am facing difficulties and "situations" today that I wish I did not have to. But what can I do? Nothing really, except pray.

So this prayer is a good one for me, I will translate it into Hungarian for myself and say it like a mantra. (I still pray in Hungarian, somehow praying in other languages like English or Mongolian does not feel real.)

My Dad

I have just discovered that you can actually buy a potato peeler.
I was in a little Korean shop and found a lovely pink potato peeler. And thought of buying it. well. It was a first in my whole life.
I also discovered not long ago that you can call a phone number and people will come and fix your water pipes in the bathroom, and you have to pay for it, but it is easy.
Why are there such revelations in my life nowadays I am not sure. I remember when I lived with my parents we never bought things like potato peelers, and never called the repair people. Why? Because we always had my father there to make a potato peeler - he made one about 40 years ago, it is wonderful, shiny, and very sharp. We always had him to fix the pipe, the bike, the wall, the window, the furnace, the wristwatch, you name it.
So I suppose I had been conditioned all my life that things are to be fixed and made at home. I never did it as well as my dad, but still in my married life especially in Mongolia I have the reputation as Miss Fixit, I insulated the gaps by our door frame with plastic bags, "fixed" our sink with cellotape, glued our lightswitch to the wall so that it does not fall down, pasted the wallpaper back on the wall after the children tore it, used scotch tape to make the drawers of my sons wardrobe sturdier, secured the head of Buzz Lightyear with some wire, screwed back the legs of Batman and so on and so forth.
I am quite proud of these achievements of resourcefulness, although the end result is not always pretty. I know that I have an attitude that helps a lot when I don't know where to turn with problems like a broken pipe or an amputated Batman leg. I am proud of it because I learnt it from my dad.
Now that we live in Mongolia 6000 km from home, it is my mother only who enjoys the comfort of having a universal man at home, and she still does not know that she actually could buy a potato peeler. Or that strangers come and fix things for money. I pray she knows how blessed she is.

The Second Post

It ought to be less silly than the first.
So I am going to write about my family. I have three sons. Sometimes I can hardly believe it myself. But then they come in and hug me, or make some noise in their room, or just come in and demand food, and then I remember that it is true. I do have three sons. Often at night I dream that I live alone, still young and unmarried, and feel just awful. Wake up sweating or shivering depending on the season, and sit up in bed looking around in the darkness. And when I completely wake up, there they are, Mr. Husband sleeping next to me, and the three boys snoring quietly in the next room. I do go over to the next room to check if they are really there, just because it is hard to believe it in the middle of the night.
I wonder if other mothers feel the same.
It is actually great that I am already 43, a great deal of my life is behind me, a great deal of trouble, misery and loneliness. Well. I may become lonely and miserable overnight, and even more troubles may come, but at least what is gone is gone.
Not a truly life-loving attitude, is it? But I do love life. I enjoy every single day of it. Every single minute of it. Even the ones I do not really enjoy, I enjoy. Enjoy the bad things too. I feel amazed that things are actually happening to me. Weird? Let me give you an example.
When I was miscarrying my babies, I felt so awful, both times, kept asking WHY? WHY? you can imagine, but underneath I felt something else, that I am alive, and things are happening to me. Bad things, true, but are happening.
It sounds dreadful. especially for a second post.
But here it is.

My first post

Today is Oct 2, and I feel I conquered the Internet by creating this blog.
I am not sure though that I will keep it, because I also like the yahoo 360 thingy.
anyway, see you next time.